BALTIMORE (WJZ)– In just a few short months, a Maryland family of five will become a family of eight with the addition of triplets. It’s a rare natural pregnancy that doctors say beats the odds.

Doctors say the odds of being 1-2-3 parents, are less than 1 in a 1,000. The Tolbert family in Waldorf are beating the numbers.

Full article here.

I mean, chances are also less than 1 in a 1,000 that you don't think this is a huge bummer. There’s no middle ground here, this is either something you’re jacked up about or devastated over. Because if it wasn’t clear, not only is your life over, but it’s ova’, OVAH’. You had one kid, you blinked your eyes, you thought “maybe one more would be nice”, suddenly two more pop out, you think, “maybe we can have sex without trying to have kids” BOOM triplets on the way!

You’ve got to feel for these guys. Kids aren’t like a tough work assignment you juggle for a couple weeks, those things are 18 year commitments. And can you imagine? You’ve probably already got your hands full with three, and then you realize that you’re about to have three brand new ones pop out. You’re at the point where your sperm and eggs are too powerful; nobody knows what might emerge next.

Seriously mom and dad, stop fucking for a minute. We get it, you guys love each other. But before you go rolling around in the sheets think about what putting four more heads on this planet will do. At this point you’ve got a basketball team, along with a coach, assistant coach, and benchwarmer. The mouths you’re responsible for are going to eat a village’s amount of food for after school snack. So until you really think about the effect of your actions on everybody else, forget about sex. Seriously, it’s clear at this point that you guys would be happy to keep fresh proverbial buns coming at a steady rotation out of the proverbial oven- so I’m stepping in. We’ve got too, too, too many people on this earth. Lots of folks are struggling to have kids, and you’ve got six.

Stop being selfish.