Holiday Quick Hitter: Apparently JFK's Back Brace May Have Aided His Assassination

November 22, 2017 Keegs

(CNN)Every November, America remembers the end of Camelot: a shining time of promise led by John F. Kennedy, our nation's youngest president, brought to an abrupt and bloody end by Lee Harvey Oswald's second shot, a bullet to the brain.

While conspiracy theorists debate who pulled that trigger, there's another culprit that often goes unmentioned: Kennedy's lifelong struggle with back pain.

It was his habit of wearing a tightly laced back brace that may have kept him from recoiling to the floor of his car after the assassin's first bullet to the neck, setting him up for the kill shot.

Full article here.

Yikes. Well great job back brace manufacturer! You fucking killed JFK. Why’d you make a back brace that wouldn’t let him dodge bullets? I mean, God, that’s a sad enough moment in our nation’s history as it is.

We didn’t need to know that he was fucking propped up in the backseat taking the full brunt of Lee Harvey Oswald (allegedly)’s onslaught. We couldn’t have given him something else? Maybe something with a little more give? Just seems like a BONEHEAD move by the Secret Service. Like, “Gee, Rick, how do we keep the president safe?” “Oh I don’t know Joe, I was thinkin’ we Velcro him in place”.

It takes balls to release this. This is something you bury, because it doesn’t look good for anybody.

Is this really what it’s like to wear a back brace? You just walk around like a fuckin’ noodle and hope nobody pops you, or you don’t have to duck? Fuck! I’ve got a good friend with back problems named Nick, and well, this really puts stuff in perspective.