Well, I can tell you with ease that I would not want to be one of these removed guards. Kim got all of his leniency out when he sentenced his generals to night school a few days ago. I mean when you look at the other stuff they’re doing, like digging a trench and planting a couple of trees, that’s all pretty minor stuff. You can bet your bottom dollar that their most effective tool is just feeding this guard unit to tigers and scaring the shit out of whoever comes next.

I also can’t believe these guys stuck around! As soon as your pal crosses the border, whether you shoot him or not, if he’s not dead you better just go with him. You better go with him because, buddy, your time in North Korea is over. Maybe you loved the guard life, maybe you loved all the hype and the cool-aid, but you just blew it and you are the most expendable guy on the payroll.

Best case scenario, these guards are walking the beat in the tough part of town; worst case scenario, they’re tiger food. Being a North Korean guard is like being a henchman in an Austin Powers movie, there’s just no way you come out on top.