NY Times- The exceptionally high tides this time of the year off British Columbia can turn the rocky western coast of Vancouver Island into a graveyard. Bones from gray whales, sea lions and killer whales wash ashore, piling on the beach along fallen evergreens.

But on Thursday morning, Taz, a 6-year-old Rottweiler, sensed something different about a bone tangled in a bed of kelp. Taz darted away from her owner, Mike Johns, to inspect it, sniffing a piece that jutted out on a beach in the hamlet of Jordan River.

Her instincts were right. Mr. Johns followed behind her and pushed away the kelp, revealing his dog’s find: a tibia and fibula attached to a left human foot with a white ankle sock in a black running shoe.

In any other part of the world, a sneaker with a human foot washing ashore might be a terrifying discovery, enough to frighten residents and stir fears of a gruesome murder or a serial killer on the loose. But not in British Columbia, where these discoveries have become so common that they are tracked. It was the 13th foot to wash ashore since 2007.

Full story here.

What? Are you fucking kidding me? You know what I would do if I lived next to a beach where dismembered feet kept on washing up? I would move. I wouldn’t waste much time. Maybe the first foot, I’d let slide. I’d go to years of therapy, and I’d impulsively end all of my relationships, but eventually I’d be okay. Second foot pops up, maybe I’d start drinking a little more, I’d rinse and repeat the steps from the first go around- and yeah, eventually I’d be okay. Somewhere in the third to thirteenth foot range, I’d get the fuck out of there.

Look guys, I’ve got a hard enough time holding my shit together without finding carcasses during my beach walks, alright? I’ve got enough trouble keeping my hypothetical dog’s mouth clean without him trotting off, coming back with a decomposing tibia, and expecting a fucking treat. British Columbia, sounds nice! Finding lots of body parts, I’ll pass!