Some creepy facts: A cockroach can live about a month with its head cut off. In its 300 million or so years on this planet, its relatives have survived an asteroid that wiped out dinosaurs, an ice age and an atom bomb.

These vile pests the color of excrement reproduce all year and know where to find warm places to hide. So that “ bomb cyclone” of a cold spell that froze much of the United States? It’s like nothing for the roaches — or most other creepy-crawly pests.

Yes, it’s been cold, really cold — but you survived. Don’t think your worst nightmares didn’t.

Full story here.

What good are you, cold? You come in here with your big swingin’ dick, freezing my pipes, making society’s collective balls shrivel up into their bodies, making iguanas fall from trees, killing puppies, and you won’t even off a single cockroach. Come on. As a human, how do you feel ever feel more insignificant than this? Oh yeah? Are we meant for a greater design? Then how come we get outlived by these little insects every single time?  Asteroids come and destroy all life? Except for cockroaches. Cockroaches live. Bomb Cyclone? We die, cockroaches live. Nuclear bomb? We die, cockroaches keep on banging away. What’s the point anymore? Here we are worrying about global warming, politics, our purpose here on earth; and we can’t even outlive some little bugs.

This planet doesn’t belong to us, but it doesn’t belong to any magnificent, romantic creatures either. No. It belongs to rats that have different genetic makeup depending on their neighborhood, to bedbugs that live in freezing abandoned Canadian sofas, and to cockroaches that can never, ever, ever, die. It’s their world and we’re just living in it, folks. We’ll be uncomfortable, even miserable, even dying! They’ll be fine.