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Old Lady Keeps Sneaking On To Flights: I Don't Understand It But Goddamn Do I Respect It

(CNN)A woman accused of sneaking onto a flight to London this month was arrested again on Sunday at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport, authorities said.

Marilyn Hartman was arrested on charges of misdemeanor criminal trespass and violation of bail bond, Chicago Police said. Now she's back in a Cook County jail, just three days after she was released.

The 66-year-old's alleged efforts to repeatedly sneak onto flights earned her the nickname "serial stowaway." Most recently, she succeeded in traveling from Chicago to London without a passport or boarding pass, according to Chicago Police.

Full story here.

I saw this story last week and decided not to write about it. Basically they’d nabbed this old lady trying to sneak onto a plane from Chicago to London and it ends up that she’s done this, both successfully and unsuccessfully, a bunch of other times. Now I was a couple days late on the story, and so I decided to put it to the wayside and move on. Sometimes Blog God speaks to you, and when this woman was caught again yesterday trying to sneak on another flight, I knew that Blog God was speaking to me: like Moses had the burning bush, I have the serial stowaway. 

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There’s obviously a degree of this that I don’t understand. It’s well known to the reader that I hate airplane travel and everything associated with it with all of my heart. To me, any degree of enjoying the act of traveling by plane is evidence of lunacy. I’m looking for every excuse to avoid planes. Why anybody would want to do this is so far beyond me that I can’t comprehend it. That being said, this woman is so fucking good at sneaking onto planes. I guess you do what you're good at!

Reporters who have followed her arrests said the success of her evasive maneuvers depends on her ability to blend into a crowd as a seemingly harmless, elderly white woman. She employs tactics like ducking under ropes, keeping her head down, piggybacking on small groups, and using other passengers' discarded boarding passes, Joe Eskenazi wrote in The Guardian last week.

She’s going full stealth mode on these idiots! What is this? Assassin’s Creed? Is that the plot to the next game? You just play an old lady who sneaks through airports. It goes to show a couple of things. One, TSA more of a joke than it has every been. Two, really seems like you can get away with anything if you’re an old white woman. Seriously, who the fuck is going to stop her? I wouldn’t! If I was a TSA agent and you told me to arrest this old lady I would hand in my badge and taser and walk the fuck out. She’s the perfect criminal: old, white, clever, looks like she’s gonna give you a batch of cookies, and fucking persistent too! This lady got arrested for trying to sneak on a plane, went to jail, got released from jail, and went straight back to the fucking airport. That sounds like my hell, seriously, I think I’ve had that nightmare, but she sure seems to love it! Hey, whatever floats your boat, I guess.  Some folks like fucking feet! Why wouldn’t an old lady like sneaking onto planes? 

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