We've touched on this before, but this recent news dictates that we touch on this again . Ski lifts are insane: they are dumb, poorly designed, ratchety-ass contraptions that belong in a junkyard, and if you ride on one you are a fucking idiot. This video has three different moments of escalation. The first (00:00) is when the first people fall off the lift and you realize that this thing is going backwards. The second (00:13) is when people legitimately get thrown into the air like rag dolls as this thing malfunctions further. The third (00:32) is when people are throwing themselves off of this thing because it's basically turning into a meat grinder and maybe killing people.

This is madness. Ski lifts were a terrible idea before they were able to malfunction like this. Was nobody able to turn this thing off? It honestly seemed like it had a mind of its own, like this thing was a villain from that movie The Brave Little Toaster or whatever. We’re not even talking about skiing anymore, we’re just talking about ski lifts. We're not just talking about stupidity, we're just talking about self-preservation. This is Darwinism at its finest people.

Honestly, if you like ski lifts, then we don’t want you. This is your last warning. If you can watch this video and feel fine about heading to the mountain this weekend, well then go ahead and enjoy these slow, boring, ill-maintained, unsafe rollercoasters while you still can, because it’s clear these machines will pick you off one by one. The rest of us will figure out how to survive, oh wait it's easy, just don't sit on them.