WASHINGTON — Ben Carson, the secretary of housing and urban development, told a House committee on Tuesday that he had “dismissed” himself from the decision to buy a $31,000 dining room set for his office last year, leaving the details to his wife and staff.

“I was not big into redecorating. If it were up to me, my office would look like a hospital waiting room,” said Mr. Carson, who repeatedly told committee members that he had no knowledge of the $5,000 limit imposed on cabinet secretaries for redecorating their offices — despite the release of emails between top aides discussing how to justify getting around the cap.

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*ahem

Ben Carson is the definition of a guilty golden retriever. So obviously at fault, going to the oldest, dumbest excuse of all time- the finger point. The spending all the money isn't fresh news, but the ill-advised blame game is.

Ben Carson, you may be the dumbest fuck alive. Do you have any idea how much dirt your wife has on you? Have you ever seen House of Cards? Have you ever seen Melania? That woman may not know all the secrets, but she definitely knows enough to ruin her husband's life. Same goes for Mrs. Carson. As a politician, this is the last bridge you want to burn. Not even just as a politician! Also as a husband! Not even as a husband! Just as a spouse! If you spite the one that you've entered that 'til death do us part' pact with you better get ready for some medieval punishment. You know what they say: happy wife, happy life. Blame wife, bad.

The only alternative to this I can think of is if ol' Benny got her to take the dive for him. You know, play a little of "I'll blame you so we can take the heat off me," type of thing. Well, if that's the case then I don't want to know what Ben owes Candy. There's a lot of different ways these things can go, but let's be clear if you are the spouse of a politician then you've been through the shit. It's a fair to guess that you've had to make some pretty big sacrifices, done a lot of things you rather wouldn't have, and all around received the short hand of the stick more than once. Needless to say, Ben Carson, this is not the type of debt you want to be in. Something tells me this is going to be a little more than just not watching football on Sundays. Ben Carson owes his wife so much head he may go home Friday and not see sunlight until Monday morning.