Kids are annoying as shit. No way around it. That’s the problem here. This lady is about to have a child and clearly has already used up all of her “kids are shitheads” patience. That’s trouble town. The kid she tripped was 4-years old, and one one hand that’s super young; on the other hand, lady you’ve got a loooong way to go until your kid is four. You have so many potential “trip your kid” moments between now and then.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so mad at a kid I could trip them. Sure sure, it would be super annoying to have this kid run by you and splatter you with whatever you’re eating, but at the same time you’re about to enter the fucking danger zone. You’re about to go into a WORLD of being pooped on, pissed one, barfed on, spit on, and otherwise humiliated by bodily fluids - in six months you’ll consider a sweater covered in dinner to be a win. The thing with kids is you've got to let them do things to you that you'd otherwise beat the shit out of someone for. The hardest part of this whole ordeal is you can't ever act on your most evil thoughts. I don't know for sure, but I'd wager that the average parent thinks about tripping their kid a million times. Of course, you can't really trip your kid. One, because, as this blog has stated many a time, there's a thin line between funny and child abuse. Also,  if you hurt your kid, then you have to pay for it, and that's inconvenient. As you can see, a tough situation for those of us that would trip a stranger's kid in a restaurant

I’m not here to tell anyone that they’re going to be a bad mom, but I am here to warn of kid karma. Kid karma is basically how I measure the odds that your kid is an asshole. I’m being so nice to kids, if only to guarantee that kid karma is eventually on my side. I have a complicated relationship with children- mostly that I’m so tall they either think I’m funny looking or a monster. My day to day is just trying not to step on them, and letting them climb on me when their parents aren’t looking. I'm hoping that these things count for enough to guarantee that kid karma isn’t going to turn my kid into a menace.

I don’t know about tripping lady, but her kid karma has for sure taken a hit: wouldn’t be surprised if she brings a serial pooper into the world. This lady apologized so she’s not in terrible shape, but if her future kid ends up butchering future squirrels in the future backyard, we know where things went wrong.