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Melania Statue Burnt In Slovenia: A Strictly Unpolitical Blog

ROZNO, Slovenia (Reuters) - A wooden sculpture of U.S. first lady Melania Trump was torched near her hometown of Sevnica, Slovenia, on the night of July Fourth, as Americans celebrated U.S. Independence Day, said the artist who commissioned the sculpture.

Brad Downey, a Berlin-based American artist, told Reuters he had the life-sized blackened, disfigured sculpture removed as soon as police informed him on July 5th of the incident.

"I want to know why they did it," said Downey, who had hoped the statue would foster a dialogue about the political situation in the United States, highlighting Melania Trump's status as an immigrant married to a president sworn to reduce immigration.

Full story here.

Look, I know people see Melania or Trump and they immediately think that this is the next in a long line of political hit pieces. I’ve got opinions, but nobody’s coming here to hear them- and I’m definitely not coming here to write them. 

Let’s just call a spade a spade: this statue fucking sucked. This could easily be the worst statue I’ve ever seen, and I had such awful motor skills that for ten years couldn’t pick up a single penny with my left hand, AND I MADE STATUES. Can you even call it a statue? In my book if you can’t tell who it is within 3 guesses- it should be burnt. How would anybody have a shot here without the dress? The face wasn’t a dead giveaway!

How long did this take you dude, five minutes? This looks like something that got last place in a third grade science fair. I’ve seen deadbeat boy scout projects with more artistic potential than this. I love the sculptor behind this saying he was trying to start a conversation about American politics. Bro, you’re lucky you didn’t start a war. Your town was probably inches away from being wiped off the face of the earth. You can’t just go throwing up statues like this of powerful people and think you’ll get away with it. You want to know who burnt it? It was obviously Melania. I guarantee within thirty seconds of her laying eyes on a photograph of that thing, she’d made a call to her favorite local arsonist. 

Owen Wilson made a wedding altar out of a single block of wood. I can honestly say you could have used a thousand blocks of wood on this thing and it would still be a monstrosity. For shame.

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P.S. I’m no expert on what materials are readily available in the Slovenian countryside, but you gotta go stone. Wood is for amateurs. What are we, vikings? Also, it burns easily; and the artist has eyes in his head he’d have foreseen that being an issue.