Everybody in Australia is Getting Gonorrhea: The Rest of the World Will Soon Fall.
(CNN) Rates of new gonorrhea diagnoses among Australians rose 63% in just five years, reveals a new report on the nation's sexual health.
Australian health experts highlighted the alarming rise -- from 62 to 101 infections per 100,000 people -- and the need for people to be more aware of the infection as the reasons behind the trend are not yet fully understood.
"The increase was most pronounced in the past two years," said Rebecca Guy, program head with the Surveillance Evaluation and Research Program in The Kirby Institute for Infection and Immunity in Society at the University of New South Wales, who compiled the report.
The infections seen in Australia had reduced susceptibility to drugs, meaning they are moving toward resistance, Guy said.
Here I was thinking that things were going great in Australia- and suddenly I see this news that everyone is getting gonorrhea down unda’. Also, as you can read above, this strain of gonorrhea is proving to be more resistant to all forms of medication, which is not good. It makes sense though, Australia has all of the most dangerous wildlife: like spiders that eat dogs, and jellyfish the size of beans that will kill you just by touching your toe , so why wouldn’t they have the most medically resistant strain of a STI?
I was under the impression that Australia was the last truly fun country/continent on the planet. Everybody loving the sun, removed from all the shit going on up North, just posting up in their little corner of paradise- but no I guess everyone is silently and very rapidly getting STDs. Is this Darwinism? Is this how the human species evolves? Are we witnessing the creation of a sexual super soldier that will grow to absurd strength in its isolated Australian environment and then spread to the rest of the world? Will it be like that movie Contagion except with a lot more rashes and a lot less death/condoms?
Speaking of condoms, c’mon Australia, wrap it up… for the sake of mankind, wrap it up. With the number of American college students who go abroad to study in Sydney and Melbourne, America will surely be the next to fall. So thank you, Aussie brothers and sisters, you had one job and you went full blown Rutgers on us.
This all begs the question: if everyone has gonorrhea, then does nobody have gonorrhea?
