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Jameis Winston: Not Very Good At Pregame Speeches Or Self Awareness!

For those of who did not spend all of yesterday watching football, we had a day full of lost tempers, flying punches, and thanks to Jameis Winston, terrible judgement!

In the Buccaneers Saints game, WR Mike Evans should have been ejected for launching himself out of nowhere to blindside Marshon Lattimore. And yes, Evans will surely be disciplined and Lattimore got absolutely buried, but the true loser of this fight is/was/will always be Winston.

Winston, who was injured on the sideline, started the whole affair by, like a god damn bonehead, walking out onto the field and pushing the back of Lattimore’s helmet. Lattimore turned around and pushed him back. The next thing you know, Mike Evans, the human missile, came in and took the situation to a whoooole new level. I mean, when it comes down to it- Winston was about .000000001 seconds away from getting his head torn off. If you’re JJ Watt, you can start fights when you’re not wearing a helmet, if you’re Jameis Winston, you  cannot. In fact, those should be the new categories for whether you should start an NFL brawl or not- are you a 290LB, athletic freak of nature who can dominate a game with one arm tied behind his back, or are you the 200LB, injured underachiever who gave his team this pregame speech? If you’re the former, fight away! If you’re the latter, keep your helmet on at all times and never leave the sideline!

If you’re Jameis Winston, you owe Mike Evans steak dinners for life, because look, as a player, you always have to protect your quarterback, no matter how big of a dickhead they’re being. But a small part of me is actually shocked that Evans didn’t see this going down and think, “Well, I guess he had it coming” as he slurped his gatorade from a straw.

It's the most bizarre move for quarterbacks to taunt opposing offenses, like it is the one part of the game you have no effect over at all- but it’s almost more ridiculous for an injured quarterback to come out and taunt a defense! They’ve already hurt you, Jameis! They’ve already won, Jameis! Get them next time, Jameis!

Let’s break it down, if you’re a quarterback:

  1. Don’t play badly.
  2. Don’t get hurt.
  3. If you get hurt, stay on the sidelines.
  4. If you leave the sidelines, (and again, please do not) don’t touch anybody.
  5. If you leave the sidelines and touch someone, (you idiot) for the sake of the Tamba Bay Community, keep your helmet on.

P.S. If I were Jameis, I would up my self-awareness drastically and call in sick the next time the Saints come marching in.