Shocking News: Roy Moore Is A Creepy Mall Guy

Video here. I wrote about him a few days ago, but wow, how has Roy Moore not dropped out yet? Every day that goes by, there’s something else that comes out about him in the media. Obviously we started off with some serious allegations of sexual assault (and the ridiculous attempts by his cronies to defend him), and now we’ve come all the way to learning that he’s on a local mall’s watch list. That’s right, dear reader, Roy Moore is the creepy guy at the mall.

I’ll say this, if you want to be a successful person in general, you can’t be a mall guy. You just can’t. Nothing good comes from hanging around in malls; you don’t eat in malls. You don’t lounge around in malls. You don’t meet friends at the mall. You certainly don’t try to pick up potential mates at the mall. You go to the mall to do your miserable shopping and leave as quickly as you can. In fact, I would hate Roy Moore for spending time in malls, even if he weren’t on a watch list; although, come to think of it the two go hand in hand, as being put on watch list is the least surprising mall guy move of all time.

It’s absurd it took this long for this to come out. C’mon Alabama communities, if the guy running for office is the same guy trying to rub tummies at the mall , say something.