Prehistoric Shark Caught Off Of Portugal And I'm Man Enough To Say I Shit My Pants

Video here. I mean you wanted to know why and now you know why. This is why I don’t go sailing across the ocean without first telling everyone I’m dead. This is why I don’t scuba dive. This is why I don’t eat in underwater restaurants. This is why I’m going to show the movie “Open Water” to my future kids until they shit themselves from fear. This prehistoric shark is one of a thousand reasons why I do these things.

Look, for all of you shark lovers out there, I’m not trying to say that all sharks should be killed or anything like that. I understand that they’re just another part of a vast ecosystem that I probably will never fully understand. That being said, I have no intention of venturing into said ecosystem, and I mean you don’t see me jumping into tiger enclosures either, or running up to hug polar bears. I generally tend to let the predators be, especially when they live in water, which apparently I’m terrified of.

P.S. The first photo of this shark looks a million times scarier than the others, like what am I looking at: a dinosaur or a big eel?