Kim Jong Un's Advent Calendar Runs Out Of Chocolate: Time To Cleanse Leadership Again

Seoul, South Korea (CNN) Two key figures in the North Korean military have been punished for "impure behavior," according to a South Korean lawmaker, a move analysts say is likely intended to help leader Kim Jong Un tighten his grip on power.

A closed-door briefing by South Korea's National Intelligence Service (NIS) identified the two officials as Hwang Pyong So, the director of North Korea's General Political Bureau (GPB), and his deputy Kim Won Hong, said South Korean Rep. Kim Byung-kee after the meeting.

The General Political Bureau, which is also referred to as the General Political Department (GPD), is being audited for the first time in 20 years, Rep. Kim added, citing the NIS.

It's unclear how exactly how Hwang and his deputy were disciplined, but one analyst told CNN they could have been required to undergo re-education, which is likely to include a period of re-indoctrination of North Korean ideology.

Full article here.

Well we’re right about at that time where a couple North Korean leaders get punished. You know what I mean. Twenty-one days have passed and that means it’s time to clean house!

They love this move in North Korea, make your commanders feel like everything is fine and then BOOM, the calendar flips and it’s time to feed somebody to the dogs! I’m a little taken aback though, as they guys seem to have gotten off easy. You’ve to be re-indoctrinated? That’s basically just North Korean night school! The last guys got put in front of an antiaircraft gun so having to go to class five times a week to get reminded why you starve your civilians doesn’t seem so bad. What do you think these guys did to deserve this? It’s got to be something relatively minor, given that they’re still breathing. Being re-educated has got to equal what? Like stealing a pack of saltines?

All I know is that it seems like having any power in North Korea seems like a pretty tough draw. There’s nothing Kim Jong Un loves more than wiping out his generals when the advent calendar runs out of chocolate. I know I’m somewhat joking my way through this blog, but it’s truly terrifying. Check out the article I link at the top. It sounds like if you’re given a high-ranking position in the military, you basically know that at some point you’re going to get purged.

Your best bet is basically to be a social pariah. Just be the gross guy who sneezes all over things. Be the guy who’s always sick, or who always stubs his toe, or who always burns his tongue on the coffee, or the guy who gives weird facts. I don’t know, fellas, get creative. Just keep your head on a swivel, and be a lovable, totally non-purge-able loser.