We Discovered A Planet That Could Support Life And NASA Don't You Dare Fuck This Up
(CNN)You may want to get used to the name Ross 128 b. The newly discovered exoplanet is the second-closest found to our solar system, only 11 light-years away. And it could support life.
Well gosh that article has a bunch of words I don’t understand. But that doesn’t mean I’m not hyped up on mountain dew over it. This is what we’ve been waiting for! I just told you guys that Mars is a huge bust. It sucks. We all got our hopes up over it. We had our fingers crossed that it could support life, but it ended up just being another lame rock. Well here comes Ross 128 b with a big swingin’ dick! Only 11 light years away (is that far? I don’t know anything about space) and with a temperate climate that wouldn’t melt us! Sure having a day/night cycle that lasts 9.9 days would be a little weird, but also sounds a little kinky so fuck it!
This is huge. A new home: a place to ruin once we’re done with this shit hole.
Here you go NASA, this is a softball. Hit this bad boy out of the park! It’s not your fault that Mars didn’t pan out but we blame you anyway. Here’s your chance at redemption. How are we not already on the way?