NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) — Just in time for the holidays, the MTA is rolling out some vintage subway trains. This year take a ride on a train from the 1930s decked with ceiling fans and original ads.

The holiday nostalgia rides begin at the Second Avenue Subway to mark its one-year anniversary.

Full article here.

Do we need this? Haven’t we already been hearing non-stop about how dated our current subway system is? I mean, this would be one thing if we fast forward fifty, a hundred a thousand years and they’ve finally figured out how to run these things without one breaking down every fucking five minutes. Then yeah, it’d be fun to go back and see how things used to be.

But again, I kind of already feel like I’m riding subways from the 1930’s. In fact, other than the holiday advertisements, weird little handles, and ceiling fans (death for me, the tallest man) these look identical to what I ride throughout the city every day. I tell you what; you can make us ride the 1930’s train if we pay the 1930’s fare (I believe it was five cents).

Everybody who thinks this is a fun idea hasn’t lived in this concrete bunghole long enough. You’ve all got that little naïve twinkle in your eye that says, “riding the subway can be fun!” No it can’t. The New York City Subway is a death trap. It is an iron cage meant to transport cattle to and from the slaughterhouse. I can’t think of a sadder place on earth. Just a million people crammed into a too tight, too slow-moving, too anxiety ridden space- hating every single bit of their existence. You could be on top of the world and forty minutes on the downtown 6 would still make you want to kill yourself.

I’m sorry I don’t think your throwback train idea is cute, or good in any way for that matter. This entire concept is based off the notion that the trains have improved since 1930, and dare I say, they have not.