NASA Going Back To Doing Space Things: Don't Worry We Set The Bar As Low As Can Be

Washington (CNN)President Donald Trump wants to send astronauts where no man has gone before.

Trump authorized the acting NASA administrator Robert M. Lightfoot Jr. to "lead an innovative space exploration program to send American astronauts back to the moon, and eventually Mars" during a White House signing ceremony.

Standing with retired astronauts and Vice President Mike Pence, Trump touted the initiative as the first step in establishing a foundation on the moon for "an eventual mission to Mars and perhaps someday to many worlds beyond."

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My feelings about NASA are not a secret. It’s been a tough couple of years for the most misused agency in the country, but hey, we all go through ruts. This could actually be great news for NASA. Get out of here, guys! Leave earth to us! Go forth and explore!

I mean this is what the people have wanted from NASA since the start. Nobody gives a fuck about satellites, or about partnering with UBER to make air taxis a thing in LA. People want aliens and space colonies, that’s nothing new. In fact, Donald Trump may get a little too much credit here; this is obviously the best move for NASA, and anyone could have told you that.

If anything, this directive was misguided. What are you thinking Donald? Sending astronauts back to the moon? BRO, WE’VE ALREADY BEEN THERE (allegedly). I honestly feel like going to the moon at this point is just something that normal people should do. No way can we waste a space mission on it.

Sending astronauts to Mars? Mars is so fucking boring. We’ve know forever that Mars is boring. The ship has long sailed on Mars, and we’re about four years late on that being a cool thing.

So I legitimately don’t know whether this is great or terrible for NASA. On one hand, we’re putting them back to work on space things, but on the other hand we set the bar pretty fucking low. How about Trump saying “Maybe eventually we’ll go on a journey worlds and worlds away,” What? Perhaps? Eventually? No no no, how about immediately? I can't believe that Donald Trump, king of making absurd statements and making absurd goals, set the lowest goals of all time. What happened to ruling the galaxy? What happened to having the greatest space kingdom ever? Damn, NASA, it’s not easy being you guys; even when you win, you lose.