LAWRENCE (CBS) – Bryan Boutin knows he’s alive today because he happened to be around a bunch of firefighters the other night, including his father, Leo Boutin. “I think they’re heroes. I wouldn’t be alive today if not for them,” says Bryan.

Last Thursday night, at the British Club in Lawrence, the 53-year-old and his father Leo, a retired firefighter, went to have dinner at an annual holiday party.

There were several hundred people there, when Bryan began choking on a piece of meat. His father recognized his son was choking, and started the Heimlich maneuver.

“But it wasn’t working,” says Leo, even though he cracked six of Bryan’s ribs doing the maneuver.

Full story here.

Yeah I’m sorry pops. But it really seems like maybe you just didn’t know how to do the Heimlich maneuver. Hard to say, because I haven’t ever had to use it, but I’m pretty sure that when you crack six of somebody’s ribs and that person’s still choking, something’s amiss. “Well maybe the food was just really lodged in there!”

That’s when three off duty Lawrence firefighters and one retired firefighter, Mike Delaney, jumped in to help. “They got Bryan on his side, and one opened up his mouth and saw something, and pulled out the meat,” said Leo.

Oh, well given that the firefighters tipped old Bryan on his side and just took the food out of his throat, I’d reckon that’s not the case!

This sounds like the easiest choking save of all time! “Oh yeah just open your mouth and we’ll pull on the meat” is not an American Red Cross endorsed technique. That’s a little embarrassing for dad, no? Here you are running around cracking ribs, dry humping the shit out your son, and you still don’t get the save! It’s a tough look for the Boutin family, with son Bryan not knowing how to chew his meat, and dad Leo absolutely botching, and I mean BOTCHING, the rescue; very tough look.

P.S. I have nothing but respect for firefighters, but nominating these guys for a firefighter of the year nomination? This didn’t necessarily seem like the best planned emergency response of all time. Again, it’s great they saved the guy, but I didn’t think the “tip the guy on his side and see if he has something in his mouth” move ever worked. Who knows? Maybe it’s been a quiet year for firefighters in Lawrence, but I feel like there’s somebody out there who maybe did something to deserve it more, like, I don’t know, run into a burning building or something.