I Keep On Trying To Have A Serious Opinion On Robot Trump: All I Can Notice Is That His Tie Is Too Long
President Donald Trump — at least, a robot version of him — now stands among the nation’s past leaders.The attraction has been revamped, with a new narrator, new film — and, after some mystery, a speaking role by Trump.
The animatronic figure stands between seated versions of Abraham Lincoln and Ulysses S. Grant. Barack Obama’s figure is now located next to Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.
Trump’s animatronic features “smoother, more lifelike movements.”
Full story here.
Look, I know I should be thinking about a million different things with the unveiling of the animatronic Trump at Disney world. I should be thinking about how it would be far funnier if animatronic Trump just continually read a live stream of his twitter. I should be thinking about how maybe Trump should hire whoever wrote animatronic Trump’s speech, because I think it’s probably the best speech I’ve ever heard him give. I should be thinking about how animatronic Trump looks like he belongs in an episode of “Thomas the Tank Engine”. There’s any number of things I should be thinking about, but instead all I can think about is that animatronic Trump’s tie is too long.
I’m sorry! I don’t know why I am the way that I am! It’s just so distracting! How am I supposed to look past it? It looks ridiculous! It’s far too long! I feel like if they fixed it, I could maybe start focusing on some of the more important stuff. Instead, all I can think is “who the fuck let him leave the house like that?” and I know there are more important questions out there.
I don’t know how to fix this, but somebody needs to fix animatronic Trump’s tie, because he looks drunk. He looks like a drunk twelve-year-old at his first middle school debate. I know Trump isn’t necessarily doing our country any favors in terms of street cred, but this is a whole new level of bad. We’ve at least got to pretend that he doesn’t look like a troll! What are we going to do when aliens obliterate us and the only evidence they have of our current president is animatronic Trump? Well, I guess we’ll look like idiots. Point taken.
