Punching Yourself In The Face To Avoid A Breathalyzer Demands A Certain Degree of Respect

BELFAST, Maine (CBS) – Police say a man punched himself in the face in front of officers to avoid a breathalyzer test.

Brian Fogg, 27, is now charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, falsifying physical evidence and criminal mischief.

Belfast officers found Fogg’s car in a ditch early Saturday morning on Waterville Road.

When they tried to administer a breathalyzer test, Fogg allegedly punched himself in the face three times, causing himself to bleed.

Police tended to his injuries instead of giving him the test.

Full story here.

Don’t drink and drive. Let’s get that one out of the way early. BUT, if you DO drink and drive, remember that you can always punch yourself in the face to get a little time to sober up. I mean, hey, kudos to this guy for thinking quickly on his feet. I don’t know what mindset you must be in, or how many times you’ve seen Fargo, to know that sometimes the best thing to do is to punch yourself right in the kisser.

This begs the question, “what other scenarios can we get out of by punching ourselves in the face?” I’ve always gone with the fake phone call. You know, something awkward’s going on and the best way to get out of it is, “Oh! Mom’s calling!”  This one’s easy, but it has its shortcomings (people tend to get suspicious when you keep getting phone calls in the middle of your breakup), and so it could be time to move on to a new technique. Sure, sure, there’s the whole downside of you’ve gotta get punched in the face for this to work, but when you’re as good as getting punched in the face as I am- it’s an option worth considering.