Girl Spends All Day In Front Of Missed Connection Mural: The Most Shamelessly Awkward Valentine's Day Story These Eyes Have Ever Seen
This video is must watch. It's must watch in the worst way, but must watch nonetheless. Good god. I thought the Mardi Gras shit earlier this week was bad, but this is terrible. This is absurd. One: why are you coming back from Coney Island this time of year? Fucking February? Ugh. I get going once, but my opinion is you don’t want to be associated with people who go to Coney Island all the time, especially in fucking February: so do yourself a favor next time and don’t admit that on camera. Next, we already went over this last time, but is this really what we’re going to do when we just see someone we think is attractive on a subway? You know how many days of the week I see attractive people on the subway? Seven. Seven days a week. It’s New York lady, it’s a city full of actors, models, performers and otherwise beautiful people: this is something you have to live with.
Did this guy even talk to you? Seriously, were any words exchanged? He had yellow shoes? That’s it? Does he even know he was wearing yellow shoes? It's tough to ask someone to remember what shoes they wore on the subway when the only way to survive the subway is to actively be forgetting everything you see. Like this morning: I remember what clothes I wore but I also have to remember watching some dude pick earwax out of his earphones and flick it onto another guy's shoes: I can't wait to repress the shit out of that whole experience. So no, this guy does not remember what shoes he wore. What a dumb fucking thing. What a dumb, dumb, dumb, fucking thing. Valentine’s Day is a dumb holiday. I think everybody admits that. It’s fun but dumb, but this is truly the dumbest Valentine’s Day thing I’ve ever heard of. You’re a fan of old timey missed connection stories? Well this ain’t one sister. This is you basically putting yourself COMPLETELY out there for someone you didn’t even speak to. You for some reason tell the news about it, so they’re fucking interviewing you about your dumb story. You’re stuck on the news, waiting for a dude who NEVER SHOWS UP. Ugh, this is too fucking awkward to handle. No shit he never showed.
The only thing more awkward than her friends showing up to make her feel better is when she says the “turnout has been so amazing” line, because no, no it hasn’t. The one dude you were hoping would show up, who you’ve humiliated yourself for, whose shoe color you memorized, didn’t show. Embarrassing. Hard to come back from this one.
P.S. Park MGM hotel is at fault here too. They made this thing public. Shame on them.
P.P.S. SHE DOESN’T EVEN TELL THE FULL STORY. If you read the full billboard you’ll see that she accuses this guy of pretending not to hear her and her friend talking about him, that she misses her stop INTENTIONALLY to hope that he talks to her, and that she wishes he’d say something next time. Oh my god. One, if you ever miss your subway stop intentionally you're a psychopath, and two, it’s 2018, us dudes can’t really talk to ladies on the subway anymore. It’s okay, and we get it: but we just can’t.
