Science Teacher Who Fed A Puppy To A Turtle Is Breaking My Brain

PRESTON, Idaho - A school district in Preston, Idaho is investigating an incident that took place at Preston Junior High last week.

Deputies say a science teacher, Robert Crosland, fed a live puppy to one of his reptiles in front of students.

Parrish says a teacher told her that last week after school, Mr. Crosland fed a live puppy, who was reportedly sick, to one of his reptiles. He has a snake and a snapping turtle. Apparently, it all happened in front of students.

Full story here.

This is the strangest story I think I”ve every blogged about. Just completely flabbergasted me from the second I first caught glimpse of the headline. A Junior High science teacher feeding a puppy to a turtle, one: has got to be a misprint, and two: is too terrible of a crime to overlook. First of all, I didn’t even know that you could feed a puppy to a turtle. You could have asked me to guess what animal this guy fed a dog to and I wouldn’t have guessed turtle in a million years. I’m telling you what, people, you’ve got to be careful of middle school science teachers, because that’s a lot of hands-on knowledge to be surrounded by literally the worst age group on earth. But, I digress. Feeding a puppy to a turtle, I think we can all agree that’s terrible stuff.

Now the plot thickens. This puppy was deformed, basically was going to die, and this was this teacher’s idea of how to show the cycle of life. At first glance, I don’t know whether the fact that it was a deformed puppy makes it better or worse. Like at first, I think it’s better. But then I think “jeez that guy fed a deformed puppy to a turtle in front of a bunch of kids,” and I think it’s pretty bad again. I don’t know! My brain is breaking! On one hand I’m vehemently anti-puppy violence, but on the other hand I think feeding a deformed puppy to a snapping turtle to teach a bunch of stuck up middle schoolers a lesson on nature may be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I legitimately can’t come to a decision on this. Another thing I’m thinking about is in what scenario a snapping turtle would ever come across a deformed puppy? At the same time, this guy trekking out the woods and bringing back a deformed baby deer to feed to Franklin’s cousin also seems super fucked up. God. My mind’s at an impasse. I think I would take a bullet to save a puppy, but I also love the idea of scarring a bunch of middle schoolers for life in science class: just sending every one of these children into a mental breakdown. Hey, if these kids ever make it out of the padded room this will be a great first date story. “Oh you like dogs? Yeah one time my science teacher fed a puppy to a turtle and now every time I see a dog I cry blood.” Love it.