Russian Mother Gives Birth In The Red Sea: I'll Admit I Thought It Was The Dead Sea And Gave Myself A Stroke
Incredible pictures show the moment a woman gives birth to her baby underwater in the Red Sea.
The new mom, believed to be from Russia, gave birth with the help of her husband and a Russian doctor who specializes in water births.
Pictures of the doctor and the baby’s dad carrying the baby out of the waves in the resort town of Dahab, Egypt, went viral after being shared on social media.
The images, which show the baby with its umbilical cord still attached and its placenta in a plastic container, were taken by a tourist from a hotel balcony.
Full story here.
What the fuuuuuuck is this? We’ve just got a bunch of Russian people walking into the Red Sea and giving birth. What is happening? First of all, I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to even put your head underwater in the Red Sea, because it’s so salty that it will melt your eyes and you’ll drown. I’m exaggerating but not really- people go into the Red Sea and put their heads underwater and drown all the time. The density’s all fucked up, there’s way too much salt, and all in all it’s just a bad idea. Sounds borderline terrible to give birth in. Welcome to the world kid, sorry your eyes are melting.
Editor's Note: Okay, so I started spewing this blog before I realized that the Red Sea and the Dead Sea are two different places. Of course, I won’t hide from it. My hand’s up. I fucked up. It’s my blog, try and fire me from it. The first paragraph remains undeleted, and I’ll move forward with my new knowledge.
Okay so whatever, you won’t die if you put your head underwater in the Red Sea; but still how pleasant can that be? I mean a water birth in a bath tub is one thing. You've got lavender, candles, maybe the Shins playing in the background? Giving birth in a fucking riptide is another. The ocean doesn’t seem like a terrific place to bring someone into this world at. Look at this guy’s bucket! That’s not a fucking “plastic container,” that’s a bucket for building sand castles. That is meant to carry sand, not umbilical cords. There should never be an occasion where someone is willingly using a sand bucket to carry an umbilical cord. Best case scenario that thing is a dog bowl, and my previous point stands. Never.
Also, this is selfish but it needs to be said. I hope to god that nobody else was swimming at this beach. I’m more or less in favor of giving birth wherever you please, but you keep those birth liquids away from me. Alright? I didn’t pack up the family, load the whining kids into the back of the car, and drive five hours so I could dunk my head underwater and come up for air with your afterbirth all up in my shit. A lot of stuff comes out of you when you give birth, a lot of stuff. Giving birth seems like the most difficult thing I can imagine a human body having to go through, so do what you gotta do to be comfortable. But please, please, please, at least give me a heads up before you shit out a child in my boogie boarding channel.
