Mom Gives 1-Year-Old A Marijuana Cigarette On Facebook Live: Turns Out You Can't Do That

Mar 23

Mar 23 Mom Gives 1-Year-Old A Marijuana Cigarette On Facebook Live: Turns Out You Can't Do That

RALEIGH, N.C. — Raleigh police arrested a woman and placed her one-year-old child into child protective services on Wednesday after video circulated on Facebook of the child smoking, authorities said.

Police have arrested and charged 20-year-old Brianna Ashanti Lofton with two counts of felony child abuse, contributing to delinquency and possession of marijuana.

Full story here.

So this mom’s in big trouble for helping her little one year old smoke weed, and by “helping,” I of course mean “making." Look, we’ve touched on this before: babies are pretty similar to toys. They’re like little humans that you can put in poses and funny outfits but that doesn’t mean that they’re actually toys. You can’t make your baby smoke weed.

That’s a big no-no on a couple fronts. Imagine being a baby in the first place, you’re surrounded by a whole new, totally unfamiliar world, you don’t know how to speak, everybody’s looking at you, you’re hungry all the time, you don’t know whether you feel sick or just have to shit or something, YOU’RE BASICALLY HIGH ALREADY! You can’t double dose that kid with weed! He’d be in for a living nightmare of epic proportions. Yeah yeah there’s that whole thing about being a responsible parent, but that plays second fiddle to the fact that this baby’s basically already high as fuck.

It’s tough because any good weed person wants to share their high. Mom over here was probably feeling guilty about hogging the joint and wanted to get a little puff, puff, pass going. I guess that’s the part about having babies that they don’t tell you about. You’re going to want to share your drugs with those one-year-olds but you can’t. They’re not your friends yet. They’re babies.

As a blogger it’s tough for me to feel that bad about this one because we’ve seen such worse examples of parents sharing drugs with. I vividly remember the first time I wrote about that dad who put meth in his kid’s coffee. 1. Who shares meth? 2. That’s fucking terrible! When Walter White’s out here spiking his kid’s Starbucks, how am I supposed to feel bad about this mom giving her kid a little bit of the devil’s lettuce? Sure that baby had a trippy nap, but at least it didn’t lose all of its teeth before it even had any.