Teachers in Millcreek School District in Pennsylvania are being given baseball bats to fight off school shooters in the wake of the Parkland, Florida, school shooting.

The district is arming each of its 500 teachers with a 16-inch bat following an in-service training day that taught teachers how to respond in a school shooting, WSEE-TV reported. The largely “symbolic” bats cost the district about $1,800.

Full story here.

Hey look, I guess all for this? Give the teachers some bats, send the message that they can fight back, and avoid sending Mr. Robeson the 10th grade biology teacher to the handgun range. That's all good. Sure it's probably not a terrific use of $1800 but hey, you gotta spend money to make money, and again, no guns! 

All I’m going to say is how about a bigger bat? Is this a joke? If you're going to do this then do it all the way, because I’m sorry but this is WAY too small of a step. This is just a baton: not the cop kind, but the band kind. Look at these things; these are the weapons of hobbits, not grown people. Like these bats may be good for herding toddlers like sheep, but I don’t think they’re going to be all that effective against anybody who’s over 4 feet tall and/or has a gun. Again, I hope that no teacher ever again has to deal with an active shooter situation- but if they do, a bigger bat can’t hurt.

I’d say that teachers should be provided with enough materials to full Home Alone their rooms in case of a lockdown. I’m talking marbles, swing paint cans, rusty nails, tarantulas, the whole nine yards. Given, if that’s not at all possible/schools want to spend money on books and materials rather than a bunch of supplies for sweet traps- then just a normal sized fucking bat will do! I’m not about  giving anybody in a classroom with the most annoying people in the world guns, but I’m also not about to hand them a whiffle bat and wish them good luck.