Texas Man Sees Crocodile The Size Of MiniVan: Does The Natural Texas Thing And Lassoes It
A giant alligator nearly the length of a small family car was captured in Cleveland, Texas, early Monday morning as it attempted to cross Highway 59, near a Whataburger restaurant.
The gator, which measured in at 11 feet, 6 inches, was first spotted and reported to the local authorities after it was clipped by an 18-wheeler as it tried to cross the highway, according to the Houston Chronicle.
Chance Ward reported the incident to authorities and said the unusual reptilian traffic hazard was only something you'd see in Texas.
As firefighters shut southbound traffic on the highway, Ward eventually grabbed rope from his truck, lassoed the gator and then handed it to over animal control. It took six men to wrestle the gator onto Ward's pickup truck.
Full story here.
Leave it to Texas to handle something like this. This is why I count Florida and Texas as two of our best states for handling any and all animal vengeance. In Florida, we’ve got people teaching their 8 year olds to hunt gators with spears, and in Texas we’ve got this: an alligator the size of a car stops traffic on a highway until a random guy lassos it. That’s right. A guy, not a cop, not a fireman, not a superhero, not Crocodile Dundee, just a dude, sees this dinosaur that has STOPPED CARS and comes to the rational decision, “Eh I got a rope in the trunk why not lasso this thing around the neck?”
I know this comes up a lot on this blog, but that’s not something I WOULD EVER DO. I’d call the cops, and I like to think I’d try to maintain the peace, but no fucking way would I get involved like this. People just have different stuff down there. You know somewhere in evolution that dude from Texas got the part of the brain that makes him want to lasso crocodiles the size of buses, and I got the part of the brain that makes me want to buy two medium bags of cheetos instead of one big bag. Science is crazy. I can't explain it, but that's just the way things happened. England sent all of their prisoners to Australia, and we sent everybody braver than me to Florida and Texas.
