Pretty Sure This Couple Gave Public Birth In A Chipotle Parking Lot On Purpose

CENTENNIAL, Colo. – Chipotle doesn’t deliver, so a Denver couple took matters into their own hands – by delivering their baby in the restaurant’s parking lot.

On the morning of April 10, Adrianna Alvarez went into labor with her fourth child.

“The dispatcher is like I think you need to pull over. And we ended up in front of Chipotle. It was really weird,” Alvarez said.

To celebrate, Chipotle invited the proud parents, the dispatcher and their whole families to the restaurant for a one-of-a-kind baby shower.

They had a cake and cupcakes with faux burritos on top and they gave Jaden a swaddle blanket that looks like a tortilla.

Best of all, Adrianna and Saul got to meet the dispatcher who helped guide their little burrito safely into the world.

Full story here.

So at first I see this and I think it’s a nice thing, you know how much I’m fascinated by public births. In fact, I was a little miffed as to how I missed this story in the first place.  We’ve had a romantic proposal and a public birth in chipotle! That’s too good of a coincidence (or not) to pass up. I went all the way back in my mind, “Where was I on April 10th? And why wasn’t I blogging about this baby born in a Chipotle parking lot?” Fortunately, before putting any blame on myself, something about this story caught my eye.

It’s only fitting that Jaden was born in a Chipotle parking lot. His parents met at a Chipotle and at one point they both worked at Chipotle too.

A little too much convenience if you ask me. They met at Chipotle. they worked at Chipotle. They gave birth at Chipotle. And now they get all of this shit? mmm, speaking of coincidence (or not) this seems a little suspicious. I love a good public birth, but this seems manufactured. 

You see two people who couldn’t get to the hospital in time - I see two people with in a intricate knowledge of Chipotle’s corporate structure, policies, and team composition who gamed the system to get a free party. Who knows? Maybe they even got the dispatcher on it, agreed to invite him to the party if he agreed to “tell them” to give birth in the parking lot of the burrito kingdom. The dawn of a new age is upon us, my friends. I’ve had an inkling for a long time that all of these public births were too good to be true, and now it appears I am right. Not only do you get a nice piece of press,  and less medical costs, but now you get a free baby shower too.  

Look, I don’t blame them- you’ve gotta do what you gotta do to get a free lunch, but don’t think for a second my blog will sleep on this. This blog doesn’t sleep on stories. Not ever*.

* As of April 11th.