Taco Bell Removes Menu Items: Fucks With The Last Group of People On Earth I’d Ever Fuck With
If you're a fan of Taco Bell's 7-Layer Burrito or Spicy Potato Soft Taco, you better visit a Taco Bell soon because they will no longer be on the menu starting August 13.
The fast food chain announced Friday that it's simplifying its menu by retiring 11 items.
Starting August 13, you'll no longer be able to order the Grilled Steak Soft Taco, 7-Layer Burrito, Nachos Supreme, Beefy Fritos Burrito, Spicy Tostada, Triple Layer Nachos, Spicy Potato Soft Taco, Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes, Loaded Grillers (Cheesy Potato, Beefy Nacho), Chips & Dips and the Mini Skillet Bowl.
It is a dangerous move to take away these menu items. In fact I wouldn’t take a fucking napkin away from a Taco Bell fan.
Did McDonalds fans go up in arms when the McRib disappeared? The Chicken Select? Sure. But McDonald’s supporters have always been more bark than bite. As”
It is a dangerous move to take away these menu items. In fact I wouldn’t take a fucking napkin away from a Taco Bell fan.
Did McDonalds fans go up in arms when the McRib disappeared? The Chicken Select? Sure. But McDonald’s supporters have always been more bark than bite. As long as you don’t take their fries away, they’ll figure it out. They’ll be okay.
Did the Wendy’s traditionalists riot when they switched to sea salt on their fries? No. The fries suck and they just keep on slapping patties on the Baconator to appease the masses.
Here’s where Taco Bell’s got the market cornered. There’s always an alternative at another place. I’m not feeling the nuggets at McDonalds? Well then I can head over and get some Sonic tots. That’s out of the question with Taco Bell. If you want to eat a Crunch Wrap Supreme and poop your bed, what other options do you have? I’ll tell you right now, anybody who loves a 7 layer burrito from Taco Bell will not go so gently into that good night. Popeyes customers will throw a punch for a sandwich but Taco Bell psychos will straight up murder your family for Doritos Locos Tacos.
That’s the thing about people who love taco bell, not only are they loyal to a fault and blessed with iron stomachs, they’re creatures of habit. Dangerously so. You either go to taco bell once every two years, or every weekend. There’s no in-between. If you love taco bell you’re not looking for a taco, you’re looking for a fix. When it comes down to it, can you really trust anybody who loves shitting their brains out as much as a taco bell stan? I’d argue no, but then again every group needs a wildcard. DO YOU WANT TO DO A WILD CARD LIKE THIS?
There could only be 7 people in the world who still order the cheesy tators or whatever the hell they’re called- but they all love cheesy tators more than you or I love anything. They’re all in a facebook group. They walk their dogs together. They go to customink.com and make cheesy tator t-shirts. When it comes down to it, what kind of authority on this am I?
I’ve lost touch with my taco bell brethren; and my experience with Taco Bell is limited to the weirdest pre-hookup spot I’ve ever been to, and the 5 beefy frito burritos I’d buy for my roommate every Sunday morning. I do know that the few you do spurn with this move will be just that, spurned. They will not forgive you. They will not move on. There will be hell to pay. If you’re lucky they’ll shut up and find a new menu item to nibble spitefully with a savage hatred for you and yours and everything you’ve ever loved burning holes in their eyeballs. Hopefully you don’t remove that one item too. Worst case, Taco Bell powers that be, you don’t want to hear the worst case.
p.s. They’re called Cheesy Fiesta Potatoes please don’t hurt me.
