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 I went to college to learn how to spell and it's not going great for me.

People Who Don’t Want To Wear Masks Create ‘The Freedom To Breathe Agency’:  Which Means Nothing Because They Made It Up

People Who Don’t Want To Wear Masks Create ‘The Freedom To Breathe Agency’: Which Means Nothing Because They Made It Up

A woman claiming to be from the "Freedom to Breathe Agency" was filmed telling a grocery store supervisor in Orange County, California, that she could face legal action for telling people to wear face coverings.

In a viral TikTok video, the mask-less woman — identified as Lenka Koloma — said they were "making sure that people's constitutional rights, civil and federal laws are not broken."

The incident happened on Friday afternoon after Liz Chavez, 31, a supervisor at a supermarket, was informed by one of her colleagues that two women in the store were not wearing a mask and therefore violating store rules. 

The two women, wearing badges that said "FTBA" and claimed to be from the "Freedom to Breathe Agency," gave Chavez a piece of paper that stated she could face legal action for telling people to wear masks.

Full story here.

I want to be absolutely clear, I think these people are idiots, and Freedom To Breath Agency may be the dumbest fucking think I’ve ever heard of.  I also have to be honest, I think I respect the hell out of them. This is an insane move. It’s crazy to make up a facebook group for a fake agency. It’s even crazier to print out a badge and start canvassing!

I wish I was so sure about anything in my entire life that I could make up a fake agency about. The daring, the audacity, the unmitigated gaul, those are just not things I require in the necessary massive quantities to try something like this. I mean not only do you have to completely make up an organization, but you actually pretend to be passing along helpful information in a helpful manner. “I’m going to do you a favor and let you know that if you do what you just did to me, you’re in danger of getting sued by a company I just made up.” This is informing someone to something’s existence, implementing that thing, AND asking that someone to buy into that thing -ALL AT ONCE. THIS IS THE REAL LIFE VERSION OF THE SCHRUTE BUCK! 

Does this woman have any idea what goes into making an ‘agency’? The funding? The red tape? The bureaucracy? She has no idea the mess she’s getting herself into. I mean good god. The packets. The badge. The fucking hats.  They’re faking it until they make it. Literally. The strategy here is just to act so confidently that FTBA exists that we just, give up and believe them? Like, oh well I’ve never heard of them and this seems pretty serious but, hey, they’ve got a Facebook group and cool hats so what the hell! And hell, I am FREE TO BREATHE, so maybe they’re on to something!

I’m slowly convincing myself to simultaneously never let these people near my future children but also to give them the reigns to this blog and podcast. I’ve made it a goal from the beginning to build this platform off of a surplus of stupidity, ignorance, fear, and confidence. I say we double down on all of that. These people may get me killed by the pandemic that’s ravaging the entire world but I’ll at least be famous first.

Big Mystery: Dump Truck Runs Into Highway Sign: I Think I Solved The Mystery

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 Wild Bear Castrated For Sniffing Woman’s Hair: Seems Harsh

Wild Bear Castrated For Sniffing Woman’s Hair: Seems Harsh