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Tokyo's Installing Some Transparent Public Toilets And I'm A Tad Skeptical

One of Tokyo's most popular districts has recently added some unusual new attractions: transparent public toilets.

Designed by Shigeru Ban Architects, the two new sets of see-through restrooms have been installed in Shibuya, the bustling city center famous for its busy pedestrian crossing.

Though the restrooms sound risqué, they're actually part of an innovative project aimed at changing people's perceptions of public toilets.

Full story here.

How do you think this is going to end?

What do you think is going to happen?

"There are two things we worry about when entering a public restroom, especially those located at a park," says a statement on the project's official website, Tokyotoilet.jp. "The first is cleanliness, and the second is whether anyone is inside."

There’s literally one thing I’m afraid of when I go into a public restroom, and that is that the lock won’t work and someone’s gonna barge in on me taking an embarrassing poo. This is that nightmare. These reasons are fucking garbage. All due respect, but this guy has clearly never interacted with a public bathroom in his fucking life.

Am I afraid of someone being in there? NO. THAT’S WHY I FUCKING KNOCK YOU CAVEMAN!

Am I afraid that it’s going to dirty? SURE! BUT WHAT’S STOPPING ME FROM JUST TURNING AROUND AND NOT SHITTING IN THE MESSY BATHROOM?

It’s not like we’ve got folks who walk into a bathroom and suddenly can’t find their way out unless they shit. “Ah bummer, I’d really love to leave but I’ve already locked the door.”

Furthermore, assuming EVERYBODY’s going to lock the doors- all it takes is one of these mechanisms to fail for disaster. Someone forgets to lock the door, or somehow the technology I understand ZERO OF fails and the walls don’t magically turn opaque with a turn of the lock. How do you think that will change the perception of public bathrooms? I got a phobia of defecating in public after a bunch of elementary school kids heard me pooping during a middle school basketball practice. I missed practice! The kids were trying to wait me out! And now I won’t poop! This is how you rupture your colon, people. How do you you think my brain will handle the trauma of a crowd full of adults seeing me fumble with my pee pee? Not well! 

Lastly, all it takes is one person to not lock the door for this to all fall apart. And there’s going to be someone who doesn’t lock the door. I’ve never been to Tokyo. It sounds like a wonderful place. I’d love to go. But, I spent a few years in New York. I’ve had people threaten to kill me, I’ve had people pick their feet next to me, I’ve seen people kick strollers, hold up elevators with an NBA level box out, I’ve had people spit ON THE TRAIN AS THEY’RE GETTING OFF THE TRAIN, and of course I’ve seen people just take shits in the sidewalk! Now I know Tokyo’s got a record low number of homeless people,  so maybe that gives them a chance. Not to say that the homeless are delinquents, but it’s fair to say that I assume there’s a disproportionate amount of homeless people who use public restrooms. So, unless you are confident that there’s zero “New York crazy” in Tokyo, get ready to watch a lot of people poo. And you better hope they poo- it’s the best case scenario.

p.s. you need a poop monitor. Pay someone to hold a remote control and turn the transparency on and off. It’s the only way. Sure it’s a great responsibility but no greater than asking a million fucking people to remember to lock the door themselves.