Quick Update: It’s 2020 And We’re Still Standing Too Close To Buffalo

Officials at Custer State Park are reminding people to keep their distance after an incident with a bison left a woman unconscious.

The Custer County Chronicle is reporting it all started yesterday evening when a woman got off a motorcycle and approached a bison calf.

An adult bison charged her, catching her belt on its horn and tossing her around violently.

Eventually her pants came off, and she fell to the ground.

The paper says she was flown to the hospital, but her injuries were not serious.

Full story here.

You’d think of all the animals, we’d give the buffalo their respect. You’d think. I can’t think of a mammal that hates white people more. We FUCKED the buffalo up.  We didn’t just bother the buffalo, we came in and were like, “Wow there’s so many of these things, there’s NO WAY we can kill them all!” And then we did. We came in and messed up a good thing. We did not use every part of the buffalo, in fact, we did not use every part of a lot of buffalo. This is the last animal you want to be staring down in the middle of the freeway, lady. Especially not at Custer State Park. I mean, come on. Of all the places in the world to start a stand off with a buffalo. This is like the sacred stomping ground for these guys. They come here to stomp you.

We talk animal vengeance a lot on this blog, but buffalo vengeance is something special; this animal has been waiting to take his best shot for a couple hundred years. This buffalo looks at your face every morning on the locker room bulletin board and then goes out and stands in the middle of road hoping for a chance to stomp you into oblivion. This thing’s pissed it only got her pants. Maybe a moose would settle for a pair of pants, an elk possibly, I’d wager a wolf too. Those guys definitely don’t like us, but the buffalo want heads baby. And for good reason! It’s not like we murdered them all for no good reason and then were smart enough to keep our distance. We got people going nose to nose with buffalo just disrespecting the fuck out of this blood feud! 

I shouldn’t have to say this, but clearly we’re still doing the same shit so I do. This is a giant creature. Like furry rhino giant! Like you’re not safe in your car giant. So what are you doing standing so close to it? I wouldn’t stand this close to any animal but a dog. If it gets mad, it’s just going to kill you. It’s not like you’re going to fucking fight it if it turns on you, which it will, because, and I can’t say this enough, it is a buffalo. You’re playing russian roulette with a gun that hates you.