Soccer Player Charges Fan After The Game: Let's Make This A Thing
A soccer player on the losing end of a German Cup match on Monday leapt into the stands and attacked a fan during an interview.
Video caught Hamburg defender Toni Leistner climbing the stands at Rudolf-Harbig Stadium, grabbing a fan by his shirt collar and slamming him to the ground. Other fans shoved Leistner away before he retreated from the crowd and back onto the field of play.
Full story here.
“Oh people are going to get hurt” “But athletes are in peak physical condition, one punch from them will kill an average joe” “They shouldn’t get upset when I call them names- they’re making millions” Yeah yeah yea, I hear you and I insist you shut the fuck up. I’m leaning further and further into the camp that talking shit to athletes just makes us worse people. I know it’s funny. I know everybody’s got the friend who always comes up with the good zingers. I know it makes sports and talk radio more entertaining. All those things are true! But, there’s got to be some sort of middle ground. I say that knowing that it’s even more true these days. So, knowing that nobody’s going to budge on talking shit- I suggest we move things from the other side. Talk your shit. Talk all of your shit. Boo all the dumb shit you already boo (looking at you Kansas City). Do your worst. But the folks you boo get to fight you after the game. I said it, each player gets to choose one person out of the stadium to fight after every game. This is going to do WONDERS, people. Allow me to explain.
First off- it’s going to start holding people accountable for what they say. I’m not saying nobody’s going to get upset at a game of sports ball, but now maybe you’re going to think twice before voicing that trash opinion at the individuals on the field below who can kick the shit out of you. “But people are going to get hurt!” Yes, yes they will. In fact, I’m banking on it. That’s the best way to get the rest of us to shut the fuck up.
This brings us to our second point- it’ll make you appreciate the athleticism of the guys and gals you’re shit talking. Nothing is more humbling than getting your ass kicked. Nothing. It’s a great humbler. I was humbled when I got unfairly tossed in a pool earlier this year, and you’ll be humbled when the 300lb offensive lineman you called “big for nothing” sits on you, and proves that he is, in fact, built for something. I mean, hell, I’d appreciate Cody Parkey ruining my life if he nailed me in the balls with a kick from tee. Just kidding, nothing will ever make me appreciate Cody Parkey. The point stands.
Lastly- this is going to clear the air. Let’s get those frustrations out, because there’s really no better way to do it. You’re mad that your wife left you and you and your buddies got kicked off the golf course for puking in Chad’s shoes on the 3rd green. The guy you’re fighting is mad because held up photoshopped pictures of him engaging in coitus with a horse. You guys have a problem to work out. Regardless of who the winner is (it will not be you) you’re both going to feel better afterwards. That’s the ol’ rugby trick. Sucker punch a guy for driving his cleat into your ear, and afterwards you’ll feel nice enough to buy him a beer before you head to Urgent Care. That’s maybe science, maybe love, but definitely proven to work.
