It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's how many consecutive times you get punched in the face.

I'll give him kudos, I would have bet a million dollars that Jerry Jones would have said the most bat shit offensive thing at the NFL Owners Meeting.

Which is interesting, because weed usually makes me hide from people.

An F16 crashing into a forest and my Ikea furniture falling apart should not have the same explanation.

Don’t put stuff on your face that will give you cancer! Or learning problems!

I made a best friend and almost killed myself!

Am I alone in having no fucking idea what a shingle is? You could put four photos in front of me and offer me a million dollars if I could point you to a shingle, and I would get it wrong.

It’s not that I don’t believe in my team, it’s that I believe more that we are cursed as a franchise and that I am possibly cursed as a person.

Nope. No thank you. I’ll eat my meals above ground thank you very much. This is classic humans getting too cocky for their own good.

This is a tough one, and I’m torn. But let me be absolutely clear to start, Mr. Mayor, I'll be honest, it sounds like your town sucks.

Welcome to my blog. I turn 26 in two months and figured it was the right time in my life to take this significant next step. All of you who are surprised at this should wake up and smell the flowers because blogging in your mid-twenties is hot.