I Got Locked Out Of My Apartment And Now I'm Shook

Man, I just realized that there is a VERY steep learning curve to being locked out in college vs. the real world.

Assuming you live on campus- it usually boils down to weighing the question of how long it takes campus maintenance to come around and which of your friends is at class.

Worst case scenario: you chill in your buddy's room, the lounge, or the quad while you wait, or you eat one of your 150 buffet meals a little earlier than planned at the dining hall. Fast forward to the real world: when you hear that 'click', that resounding stamp of doom, you're on your fucking own. The world isn't built for losers!

The only thing separating you from being legitimately homeless is the money in your pocket, and once that runs out, it's just you and the wolves.

Forget the locksmith- that's $100 down the drain easily. And your roommates? They have jobs and social lives that no longer run parallel to whatever you have going on. It’s one of those few moments that happen to you in adulthood that severely hinder your functioning as human, second only to losing your wallet. If you lose your wallet your life is OVER without the help of charitable friends.

The only reason getting locked out is better than losing your wallet is because hopefully your waiting period to return to the land of the living is pretty short. Whereas if you lose your license, cards, and cash you’re stuck in that purgatory for weeks. Dear reader, if you lose both at the same time- you’re in the jungle now. It’s time to ditch your pride, start grabbing quarters off the laundry room floor, call collect, and pray that Mom comes to pick you up.