Keystone Pipeline Leaks Nasty Oil All Over Nature
(CNN)A total of 210,000 gallons of oil leaked Thursday from the Keystone pipeline in South Dakota, the pipeline's operator, TransCanada, said.
Oh boy. Hate when that happens! Such a bummer when your pipeline, which everyone was pretty unhappy about to start, leaks its nasty ass oil everywhere. As many/all of you remember, the Keystone XL Pipeline was the center of the Standing Rock protests last year; the big motivators behind the Standing Rock protests were that the pipeline was going to cut through tribal lands and pollute waterways.
The story here is that this was NOT a project Keystone could fuck up. This is a bust everybody saw coming. I mean, it didn’t even take that long. It's almost impressive how quickly this all went downhill. I mean I was sure it was destined to fuck up somewhere down the line, but this was fast. It’s like when you tell your friend that if he gets blackout drunk at his girlfriend’s birthday, she’ll probably break up with him; and then, when he gets too drunk at his girlfriend’s birthday, she breaks up with him. You saw it happening in slow motion, and really all you could do in the end was watch and shake your head. You wonder how it all went down, and then you think oh well actually it's obvious how it happened: Jared got blackout drunk and took his pants off at Stacy's birthday, and then she broke up with him. Well congrats Keystone, we let you drink at Stacy's birthday. We let you do your thing and you couldn’t keep your shitty oil in your shitty pipes, and you just gave everybody the biggest opportunity to say “I TOLD YOU SO” of all time. This is the opposite of a clutch play. There are some things you can’t fuck up.
P.S. At least I’m sure they’ll be held accountable and this type of thing won’t happen again!