759 Words Is Not Enough To Damn Mike Pence's Betrayal Of His Fraternity

Vice President Mike Pence reportedly snitched on his Phi Gamma Delta fraternity brothers for having a keg at a party on his college’s dry campus and got his entire house in trouble. Pence, then a sophomore at Hanover College, alerted the dean that his brothers were violating the small Presbyterian school’s strict no-alcohol policy, his former fraternity brother Dan Murphy told The Atlantic in a profile published on Tuesday.

At the time of the incident, the fraternity was reportedly having wild parties re-creating its favorite scenes from Animal House, which had recently been released. Pence “was not a particularly hard partier” but oversaw his brothers’ complicated plans to sneak alcohol into the house and was in charge of ironing out any issues with adults if things went wrong.

Full story here.

I mean at least this one we could kind of see coming. Plays right into the brand of politicians this year as being folks you wouldn’t want to be friends with. Now I’m not equating any of these wrongdoings- I mean I don’t think anyone in their right mind would compare telling on a keg party to sexual assault, but will someone tell me how we ended up electing all of these douchebags to public office? I just want one guy or girl who had fun at a party, did a keg stand, had consensual sex, grabbed a breakfast sandwich, hit the sheets, and woke up with a splitting headache. Is that too much to ask for?

And I mean does it get any more “ratty” than narc’ing on a college party? What a psycho move! I just don’t understand that. Do you know what a keg party means to a college frat bro? This is a betrayal the likes of Judas to Jesus, Brutus to Caesar, and Arnold to Washington. The keg is the frat boy’s desert oasis. I still love kegs, but it was different in college. Kegs were these miraculous beer machines that made your party a party. Tapping a keg as a freshman was like breaking in a wild mustang. Kegs were the staple of those days where you could spill a beer and not waste 7 bucks. They were the Saturday night water fountains for drunken folk, and long before we were forced to accept water cooler gossip, we reveled in the thrill of keg-talk.

That’s not to say that you had to like drinking in college. Some people weren’t in to it and that was fine, but I feel like there was a notion of mutual respect- each side let the other do their thing. And sure every once in a while the neighbor who had a test in the morning would call in a noise complaint, but that was part of the relationship. To call in your own frat brothers is insanity.

Folks, remember that college kids don’t think like everybody else. There’s still an air of optimism, you know? You put these elaborate plans in place for parties, you throw money at them because other than your student loans and tuition what else is there to throw money at. People recover from drinking quickly, you drink over the weekends because it’s fun and not because you’re driven to it by the week, you still make friends while drinking; these are all good things that Mike Pence tried to take away from his friends! Planning college parties was like practicing running a company: you delegated duties, you had contingency plans in place, you had to budget and make tough decisions- and Mike Pence sunk his company. I don’t like calling people rats, but Mike Pence, that’s a rat move.

Pence’s brothers were furious with him, but he maintained a good relationship with the administration. In fact, he was so beloved by school officials that Hanover offered him a job after he graduated, according to The Atlantic.

Oh that's crazy, you mean the guy who turned in his friends to the administration was kind of a suck up?I know everything that I have to know from this one story.  We've all known a Mike Pence at some point or another, and we all know they're going to succeed even though they deserve to fail more than anyone. There’s no limit to what a person’s capable of once they turn in their friends for drinking. The fact that a man like that has any say in our country’s direction is shameful. I’m flabbergasted, because while you can hide the fact that you’ve committed a crime, but you can’t hide the fact that you suck.