WEST JORDAN, Utah - “I was not dressed. I was in my underwear, I had no shoes on, and my feet ended up getting bloodied just from chasing him down the street,” a West Jordan homeowner said. It was early Tuesday morning when the man chased after a criminal, spraying him with bear mace, and keeping him on his porch until police arrived.

Full story here.

Well there ya have it folks, sometimes the best way to stop a criminal is to spray bear mace on them. Our guy here was not ready to stop a robbery. He was naked, shoeless, and inexperienced in fighting crime, but with the bear mace he prevailed! I don't totally understand the mindset of criminals in areas where somebody has bear mace. Once people have had a bear in their home, normal robbers seem pretty tame. Robbers are so far down the food chain in terms of scary home invaders it's hard to take them seriously.

Sure worst case scenario you get shot by a robber and you die, but I'd far rather get shot and die by robber then get eaten and die by bear. So of course when suddenly you get a human intruder, you're first thought is probably, "hey! I could probably take this guy naked!" That's how people think, right?

Also, do you know where the saying "loaded for bear" comes from? You guessed it, it comes from being loaded up with insane shit to stop a bear. These houses are basically stocked with cruise missiles, my dudes. The people in these homes have seen fucking grizzly bears, you don't scare them at all! If you're a criminal, you've got to stick to areas where they just have normal mace. If you start robbing the houses of people with bear mace then you've gone too far.

Think I'm wrong? Think again! Bear mace is some powerful shit! Look at what this fella's wife said, “His hands were in the air and he said yes sir yes sir and I told dispatch you're not going to believe what I’m seeing right now because the guy was just in complete compliance with my husband,” 

Yeah that doesn't sound like a guy who's putting down a lot of criminals.  That sounds a lot like a guy who's been broken down by his marriage, constantly emasculated by his wife, had his house fucking shit in by bears, and he sees a robber and finally snaps. He grabs his bear mace, leaves his shoes and pants off, and steps up to save the fucking day. Now that's a guy we can all root for. So here ya go people, don't buy guns- buy bear mace, it stopped a crime and probably got this guy laid!