Guy Sentenced After Killing Friend In Drunken Argument Over Fast Food

Fox News: AKRON, Ohio – An Ohio college student convicted in his roommate's fatal stabbing after an alcohol-fueled argument about fast food has been sentenced to three years in prison.Twenty-three-year-old Kendal Scheid, of Norwalk, was sentenced Tuesday in Akron. He could have received up to 11 years.

The University of Akron student earlier pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter in the death of 23-year-old Duncan Unternaher, of Newark.

Police say the friends were drunk when they argued about fast food they were eating at their off-campus apartment last December.

Full story here.

Look you never want to kill your roommate, but if it's gonna happen it makes sense that it'd be in a drunken argument over fast food. First I thought this was an argument over the merits of fast food, similar to the one I had with Nick on the most recent episode of the Here’s A Podcast Are You Happy Now?” And to be fair, this, I suppose, is an argument that could end in murder; and I imagine that if I do murder my best friend/cohost, it will be either because of an on-air argument or because we challenged one another to a duel to preserve our honor.

Despite how relatable these situations are,I then saw that this was not the cause of the argument in question. It appears that it was an argument over the physical possession of fast food while drunk. As much sense as the previous argument made to me, I suppose this one makes even more sense.

There are two types of people in the world: drunk sharers and drunk hoarders. Drunk sharers love the merriment of gift giving, and relish the opportunity to give out mozzarella sticks, making the night of anyone who missed the food run. Drunk hoarders are miserable, lonely, despicable people. While drunk sharers are at the center of the party, giving out free handouts to the breakfast sandwich deprived people of the world, drunk hoarders are huddled in the corner, shoveling food down their throats to prevent anyone from taking anything that isn't theirs. A drunk hoarder's mentality is simple: if I finish this food before anyone asks for it then I'm not a hoarder, I'm just a quick eater. That's bullshit. A drunk hoarder is a drunk hoarder and everybody fucking knows it. Drunk hoarders are the scum of the earth- and I should know because I am one.

So what? Can I imagine killing someone because they stole my chicken McNuggets? Abso-fucking-lutely. Sorry I've got a spine and will defend what's mine. Sorry I'm like a squirrel-bear hybrid loading up my cheeks for what will be a long, drunken hibernation. There's no place for frugality in drunken munchie ordering. You order what you want, and you order it in excess. If you're sharing, that's made clear before orders are placed. So is this a tragedy? Yes. Am I shocked? Look, if you put two drunk hoarders in a room together with one McDonald's order to split there's no telling what will happen.