Stealing Packages Is The Worst Crime Of All Time So People Pooping In Packages To Prevent It Is Understandable
Look I'd normally say that shitting in a box and using it as a trap is a bad idea. Poop's dirty, and poop pranks aren't great. Nobody wins in a poop prank. The one exception is of course if someone is stealing your packages. I've already blogged about how this is the most fucked up, dishonorable crime of all time. So yeah, if packages are being stolen from your neighborhood go ahead and shit in a box, I'll support you.
Get your whole family to do it, cats, dogs, grandparents, children, spouses, house guests, jehovah's witnesses, get everybody involved. Go ahead and fill every fucking box you've got, because we've got to put an end to package stealing. It's a shame that it's come to this but sometimes you've got to fight dirty.
If you're a package stealer, I hope you open up a box of the most stanky shit you've ever smelled. I want that image to be burned into your mind forever. I want you to see your whole life flash before your eyes. I want you to open that package and find god. There's only one way to fix you.
