Heads Up If You Are Trying To Steal A Bike In Stockton This Guy Will Fuck You Up: But Actually He Might Get Shot

Dec 18

Dec 18 Heads Up If You Are Trying To Steal A Bike In Stockton This Guy Will Fuck You Up: But Actually He Might Get Shot

STOCKTON (CBS13) – A good Samaritan nabbed a bike bandit and still managed to return it back to the owner. He’s now gaining praise from the community. Working in front of stores across town, Robert Darling and his wife have seen many people taking what’s not theirs.

“I get sick of it. I get sick of seeing these people come out so sad that their bike is gone,” said Darling, a father of two.

Within minutes of walking into the store, the suspects can pop the lock and take off with the bike. But Darling said not this time.

“I grabbed the bike and told him, you’re not going anywhere with this. I watched you steal this bike. This bike does not belong to you. You can either leave the bike or you are going to get arrested,” Darling said.

Full story here.

Hey just a heads up if you’re in Stockton, try to steal a bike and this guy may just whoop your ass. Allow me to introduce Robert Darling, a determined citizen who’s had enough of Stockton’s bullshit. Darling may not look like much, but he’s shown he has the impatience, and hell, the balls, to step up. He doesn’t go by Robbie, or Bobby, or Robert, or Rob Dar, or Robbie Rob Dar Dar, no he goes by fucking Batman. This obviously plays right into my love of citizen’s arrest, but it goes even beyond that. Does this look like the face of a man who’s fighting crime in Stockton?

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No definitely not! This looks like the guy in Stockton who’s getting his bike stolen, NOT THE GUY STEALING BACK THE BIKE. This looks like the guy who gets avenged, NOT THE AVENGER HIMSELF. Regardless, big ups to our unexpected hero of the week. That being said, it does strike me as the type of thing that maybe moves into ‘getting shot’ territory pretty quickly. At what point do the bike thieves of Stockton get tired of you ruining their day? I’d reckon pretty quickly. And just from going through the most recent stories from Stockton (check ‘em out here), it seems that although not all heroes wear capes, maybe this hero should wear a bullet proof vest.