Moscow Got Six Minutes Of Sunlight In December
MOSCOW — For anyone who braves the Russian winter, overcast skies and short, dark days are a depressing reality.
But even those bleak expectations were shattered in December, when Moscow was shrouded in an unrelenting cloud cover for all but six minutes.
It was the darkest December in the capital since the city began recording the data, the previous worst having come in 2000, when the sun checked in for a meager three hours.
The average amount of sunlight for December — 18 hours — is hardly anything to write home about.
“When they hear about this, many people say, ‘It’s clear now why I was depressed,’ ” said Roman Vilfand, the director of Russia’s Weather Service, according to the news agency Tass.
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Jesus Christ. Six minutes? What the fuck? That is ABSURD. How many dudes just like me took a shit and missed all of the Sunlight? Like you get out of the bathroom and it's just dark again, you missed it. Took a nap at the wrong time, you missed it. How do people still live in Moscow? At some point you've just got to move! Live somewhere less sad!
I'm not someone who gets affected by the seasons all that much, you know I actually like the snow, and I sweat like a pig undergoing cardiac arrest in the summer- so I dig the winter: but this would drive me insane. It suddenly makes much more sense why Russians are so miserable. Geographically, is there anymore miserable place to live than Russia? I'm not talking resources or government, I'm talking if you're starting from scratch, why.the.fuck. would you ever choose Russia? All the Russian stereotypes, loving vodka, hating people, not smiling ever, being really good at cyberterrorism, and so much more, it all makes perfect sense for a place that got 6 minutes of sunlight in 31 days. Move to Russia, have your eyebrows freeze off and spend a month in 99.999% darkness.
