Question: Who The Fuck Is Shooting Iguanas With Arrows? Answer: A Floridian
MIAMI (CBSMiami) — Wildlife officials want to know who’s been shooting iguanas with a bow and arrow.
The iguana was found in Plantation in the area of North Nob Hill Road and West Broward Boulevard.
It had four arrows in its body.
Full story here.
Hey Florida, who the fuck is shooting iguanas with arrows? What a mean crime. It’s not like iguanas don’t already have it harder than they should, with that whole they've been freezing and falling out of trees thing. I’ll be the first to say that iguanas are weird creatures, but you’re a fucking loser scumbag if you’re using these for target practice.
Not to mention, we’ve already talked about animal justice on this blog many times: I believe the last mention was when those maniacs killed a shark by dragging it behind their boat. Needless to say, animal justice is not a kind thing, and you may have just opened the flood gates for it. To be fair, those assholes who dragged the shark probably already considered sharks to be enemies. You however, have lived up until this moment with relative peace and tranquility with the iguana population. With this latest act though, you may have turned friend into foe. Bro, you’re going to get eaten by iguanas and you fucking deserve it.
You think iguanas are going to let a heinous crime like this go unanswered? You just Saint Sebastian’d one of their own, of course they won’t! Reptiles are not creatures to be underestimated, and Legolas over here may have just signed his one way ticket to the pain cave, population: rabid iguanas, Komodo dragons, alligators, crocodiles snakes, those lizards from that book Holes, and poison dart frogs. Don’t ever go to the Amazon, homie, they’ll be waiting for you.
