Donut Shop Creates Tide Pod Shaped Donuts And It’s A Piss Poor Effort
CAROLINA BEACH, N.C. — A North Carolina donut shop created a Tide Pod you can actually take a bite out of.
Wake N Bake Donuts in Carolina Beach created Tide Pod donuts to counter a disturbing social media trend where people post videos of themselves eating the pods.
The shop posted pictures of the Tide Pod donut on Facebook Sunday.
Full story here.
Look, I’m all but begging for a tide pod donut, but we deserve better than this. You can’t just throw food coloring on a boston cream donut and expect me to crown you king of tide pod donuts: you’ve got to do a little better than this. You’ve got the textures all wrong: we need some blueberry jelly on the left, some apricot jelly on the right, and then some graham cracker dust for the detergent. There, that’s a tide pod donut. You’ve got a little variety and customization in terms of your jellies and your crumb ingredients, all the things that make a donut great. You think the aforementioned monstrosity is going to get people off of tide pods? Fuck no! This makes me want to eat a tide pod even more! I'm no longer eating a tide pod only for shits, giggles and because it's delicious, now I'm eating a tide pod to spite you, Wake N Bake Donuts of Carolina Beach.
You've got respect the certain degree of je ne sais quois that comes with the tide pod delicacy, and this donut doesn't do it. It's all surface, no substance. All "ooo" and no "oof". We're in the space race to see who can perfectly encapsulate the mysterious draw of a tide pod in a snack. This donut’s a start, but there’s a long way to go. America wants something better. America deserves something better. There’s no pastry hotter right now than the tide pod impersonation pastry, yet.
