Hawaiian Governor Forgot Twitter Password During False Alarm: A Word On Passwords From The World's Most Hackable Man
(CNN) When Hawaii pushed out a ballistic missile alert earlier this month, Gov. David Ige knew within two minutes it was a false alarm. But he couldn't hop on Twitter and tell everybody -- because he didn't know his password.
"I have to confess that I don't know my Twitter account login and passwords," Ige told reporters Monday after giving his State of the State address. "I will be putting that on my phone."
Full story here.
This is the most relatable fuck-up of all time. I guess the good news is the governor of Hawaii has given us the best lame joke to make when we get awkwardly locked out an account. Get ready for “Well at least no nuclear alarms are going off!” jokes to permeate your workplace, your home, your bars, your gyms, your everything. It’s a mixed bag; this guy has both taken a weight off of our shoulders and also cursed us with the next generation of dad jokes.
You never forget your social media password at a convenient time. You never forget any password at a convenient time! I gave up on differentiating my shit a long time ago because it became very apparent very quickly that I have the short-term memory of a 98 year old with dementia (I have a dope long term memory, very dope, ask anybody). All of my accounts are currently going through the process of 1. I get signed out 2. I try to log in 3. Website tells me to go fuck myself; I’m an imposter 4. I tell website to go fuck itself; what it gives it the right to call me an imposter? 5. I realize that I’m not going to win this argument 6. I change password to match every single one of my other accounts.
Yeah that’s right, I’m the most hackable man on the planet. Try and find someone more hackable than me, you fucking can’t. This isn’t the DaVinci Code, where each puzzle unlocks another puzzle, no there’s only one jigsaw puzzle here. You get one of these accounts; you get all of these accounts baby. Of course, the exception to this would be my debit card’s PIN number. How can four digits be so easily mixed up? I’ll go two years taking money out of the ATM like a goddamn pro, and then suddenly I’ll just forget it: I’ll remember the numbers but I’ll have no idea in what order they go in. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve done it before; suddenly you’re asking me to recount the 66th through 70th digits of PI, and it’s either crack the fucking enigma code or get my card cancelled over and over again.
