Nudist Colony Has Its Nonexistent Undies Up In A Bunch Because Nobody Wants To Deliver Their Mail
HUDSON, Fla. - People living in a Florida nudist community say they're tired of not getting their mail from the postal service.
The nudists at the Eden RV Resort in Hudson say one carrier refuses to deliver mail inside of their community because it makes her uncomfortable.
Residents are outraged and are concerned they're missing important pieces of mail.
"There's a postal creed and it doesn't say anything about them not coming to nudist resorts. I pay for a service, I expect that service," resident Leonard Rusin said.
Full story here.
First of all, hate to break it to you but that creed is unofficial. Also, last time I checked the saying is, “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds” I didn’t read anything about dicks in there. Dicks are a game changer. You may be allowed to live in a colony where you let your dick swing around all day, but you can’t except to swing your dick around all day and get your mail delivered too. You can’t equate a swinging dick with a pitbull. They’re just different. I don’t know man. Put that thing away. There are battles you’re going to fight and win, well my nude friends, this ain’t one of them. Makes sense, if I had a job to do I’d do my best to get it done through wind, rain, snow, whatever, even through a hungry dog at me or a mischievous kid every once in a while: I like a challenge. But you throw a nudist colony at me, you can expect my resignation in the morning.
There’s nothing worse than a guy just canoodling around with his dick out. I had a buddy in college who’d waltz out of the shower and dry off in the weirdest way imaginable. He’d just be yanking on his dick. Literally, just yanking the water off of it. It was unpleasant to look at, seemed very painful, and was completely and utterly repressed into my subconscious before now. Thought he was going to pull the freakin’ thing off. That poor penis was just gasping for air, just begging to be left alone. Ugh, makes me shudder.
There’s obviously a nudist equivalent to my friend. I’m talking about our hypothetical nudist “friend” Fred. You know Fred, the nudist neighbor, who puts his hands on his nude hips and stretches out his lower back while commenting on the weather. Fred can be a little much some time. When it comes down to it Fred, you are paying for a service. But there’s an exception to every rule: just like the one where you have to where clothes. You naked fuck. So suck it up, put on your crocs and your canvas pants and drive out to get your mail once a week. Or god forbid, don't be naked all the time. There’s only one thing worse than grown-ass spoiled man: and that’s a grown-ass spoiled man who’s swinging his dick around in a circle like a broken clock while he waters his petunias, waiting for the mail-woman to arrive.
