Space Is Out Here Changing DNA: NASA'S Got To Step The Fuck Up

Mar 15

Mar 15 Space Is Out Here Changing DNA: NASA'S Got To Step The Fuck Up

(CNN) Spending a year in space not only changes your outlook, it transforms your genes.

Preliminary results from NASA's Twins Study reveal that 7% of astronaut Scott Kelly's genes did not return to normal after his return to Earth two years ago.

The study looks at what happened to Kelly before, during and after he spent one year aboard the International Space Station through an extensive comparison with his identical twin, Mark, who remained on Earth.

NASA has learned that the formerly identical twins are no longer genetically the same.

Full story here.

This is why we’ve got to take space seriously. For real. I understand that much of my criticism over NASA may seem over the top, bu- no fuck that, my criticism is spot on and this is proof as to why. We need NASA to be at the very top of their game because space is taking twins and turning them into genetic strangers.

All this guy was doing was sitting in space; not building anything, not colonizing any planet, not getting lost without his suit, and still- space found a way to mutate his body from the inside out. Every time NASA is dicking around from this point forward we’ve got to remember that space changed this guy’s fucking DNA, people. They took his genetic code and they made it different. We just figured out how to do that! That’s not even a cool astronaut way to die. If you’re an astronaut you’ve got to hope that you’re either going to go out getting obliterated by an asteroid, abandoned on a planet, or eaten by an alien: that’s the trifecta right there. Rotting from the inside out? That is boring, drawn out, and unpleasant.

Also, it’s so mean to mess with twins. That’s a sacred bond. Sure, it might be a little weird some times but that shit is sacred nonetheless. Twins love their twins, that’s how it goes. Changing genes around is a low blow, you take what they love the most and eliminate it. Sure you can still say you're twins, but genetics don’t lie, people. We’ll know you’re fibbing. I don’t know how many twins are signing up to become astronauts but I guarantee that number has dropped.