This Shampoo That Makes You Go Bald Is The Worst Thing To Happen To Hair Since Netflix Got Rid Of Tim Riggins: And I'm In Danger
LAS VEGAS (KTNV) - Scalp sores, breakage and hair falling out in chunks. It's a hair care nightmare and some women are blaming it on the Monat hair care product line.
"I took a picture of my hair, compared it to a picture of before I stared Monat, and my eyes just filled up with tears. It was so thin and it was stringy and I was just sick," said Erin Ostby, a military spouse who used and sold Monat products.
Women like Ostby say they watched their hopes for beautiful, healthy hair wash down the drain after using Monat.
Full story here.
Well to state the obvious, this is the exact opposite of what shampoo is supposed to do, and it's terrifying. I say a lot of stuff is scary, and, don't get me wrong, that's because there's a lot of stuff that is scary. But this is possibly the scariest thing of all. This is fucking terrifying because this could happen to anyone, and especially could happen to me.
Was this too much to ask for, Netflix/God?
I'm vulnerable because I don't have a fucking clue what to do with hair. I don't know how to effectively wash it. I don't know how to nicely style it. The greatest trick I've ever played on anyone is convincing them that I have any idea how to cut it. I've tried it all. I've gone no shampoo, I've gone all shampoo, I've gone bowl cut lettuce, I've gone as close to Tom Riggins as I could possibly get, I've shaved that bad boy and looked like a 6'7" baby, and so much more. I’ve done it all and I'm running out of options, guys. I'm a goddamn lemming when it comes to hair. If you say it's true, then I'll probably believe you. You tell me something is good, then I'll probably do it. You tell me to use apple cider vinegar instead of shampoo, then I will. I have no brand loyalty, men's or women's doesn't matter, and I'll put body wash in my hair if it's readily accessible. I don't follow any of the rules of conditionener, and my point is that if you instruct me to use Monat hair product, then I'm going to buy that shit in bulk.
That’s why this is about me, because I’m the one who’s in danger. Honestly, my hair causes me so much stress maybe going bald amidst a scattering of painful sores is the best thing that could happen to my hair. I get an easy explanation for why I'm wearing my hair that way (bald), a massive weight off my shoulders, and a lawsuit pending in my favor. Hey, if it excites you and scares you at the same time, you should probably do it, right?
