New York Times Tells Me I'm More Likely To Be Killed By A Dog Or A Bee Than A Spider, Snake, Or Scorpion: That Was Tough To Hear
Beware the snake, the spider and the scorpion. But know this: You are much more likely to be killed by a bee or a dog.
Of the 1,610 people killed in encounters with animals between 2008 and 2015, 478 were killed by hornets, wasps and bees, and 272 by dogs, according to a study published in Wilderness & Environmental Medicine. Snakes, spiders and scorpions were responsible for 99 deaths over the eight years.
Full story here.
Wow thanks! What an upper! Telling me to redirect my fear of snakes, spiders, and scorpions towards other animals is counterproductive. It’s counterproductive because it’s never going to work, I”m always going to be afraid of those things. You think I’m ever going to get to a point where I see a snack and don’t freak the fuck out? You are wrong. Not only is it counterproductive for that reason, but you’re also adding shit to my fear-list. I don’t need that. I’m already scared of an embarrassing number of things for my size and stature.
It’s not enough that I’m afraid of snakes, girls, and arachnids, now you have to make me afraid of bees and dogs too. Fuck that. I was already kind of afraid of bees, but now you’re bringing that to a whole other level. I had existed up to this point with a tense relationship with our bee cousins. I just thought of them as a necessary evil, as a type of insect that gave us oxygen or whatever the fuck they do that makes it worth the occasional sting. No longer. Kill them all. Kill the fucking bees. Wipe them out. I demand a bee genocide. Bringing up dog deaths is such a low blow it’s not even funny. I’m a 26 year old dog-starved individual living in New York City. I watch cute dog videos to keep me out of the darkness, that’s a fact. I never thought I’d be that guy but I’m very much that guy. Why are you trying to rob me of that? How dare you take my one good thing and turn it into an evil? Have you no heart?
I'd rather live in ignorance than know this. Just lie to me. If this is the world we live in then I don't want to know about. I just went from dreaming about playing fetch with my dog Bowie to dreaming about Bowie and his two border collie sisters eating my dead, rotting, bee sting ravaged body. Thanks New York Times, you really know how to make a guy’s day.
