A Delta passenger has claimed she suffered bruised ribs after a child repeatedly kicked her on a Minneapolis-bound flight.

“I was up against the window, trying to get some sleep on a red eye flight,” she said to The Sun. “A stranger’s daughter was trying to sleep on the plane with her head in her mother’s lap and her feet in my face, in my side, and on my lap. The girl threw a bad tantrum — screaming, crying, and bicycle kicking while she was trying to sleep, [but] the airline would not accommodate me for a safer, comparable seat.”

Full story here.

If a kid treats you like you're in the octagon on your next Delta flight, can you fight them?

Short answer, yes. Let’s be clear, I acknowledge the fact that if you’re a parent on an airplane, you’re in a tough spot- and that’s even before your kid starts throwing roundhouse kicks at 22F’s throat. I’m empathetic to that, but action needs to be taken here. I, with absolutely zero parenting experience, would introduce a little bit of a “make your bed and sleep in it” type of thing. We'll break this down more on the podcast this week, but I decided today of all days would be a good time to write a letter to my future hypothetical child.

Dear little son or daughter.

I hope you are happy and not spoilt. It’s your dad here. I just wanted to tell you something. This is my vow, my promise to you that I will be there to protect you in every facet of your life: every angry ex, every difficult teacher, every terrible boss, every garbage friend, I’ll have your back. Except for this moment. You’ve earned this, you little shit.

I already carried you through security, and gave up my comfort so you could sit on my lap and feel better; but enough is enough. If you want to kick the 300 lb man next to you in the ribs, then you better be ready to rumble with him. I’ve done my best to restrain you, it’s clearly not working, and if I try any harder or you hold you against your will any tighter, then I’m basically going to be fighting you myself. Frankly, I think you’d learn a lot more getting tuned up by a stranger than your dad- so here we go. Keep your fists up, don’t expel all of your energy at once (or do, make this quick), and remember to tap out. Again, as soon as this flight is over I’ll have your back again, but until then, my money’s on the big guy.

Love,

Dad